he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Enjoy the penises
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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