thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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