you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
