Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
