You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize