I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
