youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
