happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
