She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize