Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She told me I should be a condom model.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
