Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
