first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
