i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The police scanner is talking about you again....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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