She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
