Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
