How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm jealous of your bromance
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
