I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
