stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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