In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
