No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
