we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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