if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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