I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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