I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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