we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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