no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
