Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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