Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
