I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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