my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
