Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
