How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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