Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
