sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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