I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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