I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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