oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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