This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish you could order shots online.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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