I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
