Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
