it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
