I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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