belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
