Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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