i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize