a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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