Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize