FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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