You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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