Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
