You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cannot find my penis.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize