so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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