pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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