I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
