I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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