Cold hands, warm shart.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
