bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
porn star boner night. come get it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
