There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
