I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize