How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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