I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
