is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
