The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
