apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
