You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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