Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
