You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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