Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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