i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
