So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
And then he peed in my hair
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
