just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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