i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
