We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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