We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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