omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
