I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I believe in your delicious
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
